you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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