do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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