One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
