Don't you send me to vm
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
