come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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