I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
