yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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