I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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