"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
