Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pappa wants mamma naked
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
