apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
