He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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