please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
