Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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