i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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