I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
