They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think my moral compass just broke
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
