did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
