I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
