Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
