I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
