you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
