"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
