bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Acid is not a monday night drug
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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