I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
