Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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