I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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