You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
