You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
