I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Threesome in a minivan. New low
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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