it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
