The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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