Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
