Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
