I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
