if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
