Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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