okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
