When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
