I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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