I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
