Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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