I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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