So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
