i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
