i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
don't judge my taste in strippers
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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