NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
