don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
