If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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