Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
